To the esteemed faculty of the Institute of Biology, proud families and loved ones, friends, and most especially to my fellow graduates who’ve shared in this struggle, we are finally here today to present the results of a rather ambitious study.

 

Titled:“Student Survivability in IB UPD: A Micro-scale Analysis of Thesis Trial and Error, Stress Tolerance, Lab Life, and the Art of Controlled Panic and Managed Anxieties”

 

INTRODUCTION

 

This research, conducted over sleepless nights and sleepy days, with most time spent in the laboratory, uncooperative PCRs, gels, and fasta files, and a concerning amount of caffeine, aimed to answer the following research questions:

 

• Can you finish a thesis without sacrificing your circadian rhythm?

• How is experiment trial and error associated with student sanity?

• At what point does one accept contamination as just another fact of life?

• How many years should graduate students wait before they actually graduate?

• And, most critically, is it still considered a ‘draft’ if you’ve revised it at least 17 times?

 

METHODOLOGY

 

For the methodology, this study was conducted in the controlled yet unpredictable ecosystem of the Institute of Biology, a prestigious second home where wild-type and mutant students, professors, researchers, admin and maintenance staff thrived.

 

The method conducted was exhausting, I mean exhaustive. A longitudinal, quasi-experimental design was implemented over multiple semesters, with a margin of error of plus/minus 5 semesters. Our methodological tools included pipettors with due calibrations, 56 different google chrome tabs of articles that were barely even schemed, manuscript word tracked changes covering more than the actual texts that you might as well just re-type the entire thing, and advice from thesis panels, all contradicting each other.

 

Data collection primarily occurred in the numerous labs in IB, but also extended to places of deep scientific thought like the Bes Coffee Cafeteria, the teacher’s lounge with Dr. Fontanilla and IBA’s honesty offerings, and the popular al fresco dining/bed and breakfast/office working space/AirBnB located at the 3rd floor center hallway.

 

This study used mixed methods:

 

• For the Quantitative: the authors performed colony counts and statistical analyses including standard deviations…from the program of study, and caffeine dosage logs over 50 pages long

• Meanwhile, for the Qualitative: the authors employed emotional and mental breakdowns, existential crises, and the sudden “Eureka!” moments at 2 a.m.

 

RESULTS

 

Our findings reveal the following compelling insights into the UP IB experience:

 

• 98% of thesis progress happened in the last 20% of the allowed time.

• The average number of times an experiment was repeated due to contamination was about 4.7, although standard errors may suggest that most students experience a lot more.

• The longest continuous lab stay without seeing sunlight was about 39 hours, although some would argue that this is still rookie numbers.

• The average graduate student stays more than the prescribed maximum and most report that this is due to the fact that 99.99% of us underestimate the optimization phase.

• Results show that the most uttered phrases were “Konting kembot nalang, Kamusta na thesis mo?, and MRR ka na ba?”

• Respondents also reported symptoms of imposter syndrome, R studio rage, and hearing their thesis adviser’s voice in their dreams.

Lastly, we also observed a phenomenon called “lab inertia”, where students who technically have finished their lab works and obtained their degree at IB still come back, because they no longer know what to do outside anymore.

 

DISCUSSION

 

These results confirm a theory we’ve all suspected:

Undergraduate and graduate studies in IB is not just a science, it’s an extreme sport.

 

We have mastered not just the protocols of microbial assays, bioinformatics or the anatomical complexities of diverse taxonomical groups, but the far more delicate process of actually staying sane through countless experiment failures, rejections, revisions, reagent shortages, and *cough* procurement *cough* concerns.

 

Lab life has taught us that the most crucial experiments aren’t always in our logbooks (although they’re still important, of course), but instead, they’re the ones that we conduct on ourselves: testing our very limits, pushing beyond our boundaries, and learning to troubleshoot life as much as our science.

 

Our results also imply that the true essence of research isn’t about always having the right answers but about asking the right questions.

 

It is here in IB that we cultivated more than cultures, we cultivated discipline, resilience, humility, and the ability to act normal during your defense even when your results scream chaos.

We didn’t just grow bacteria. We grew up.

 

CONCLUSION

 

And so we conclude this personal yet universally relatable thesis with a strong, statistically supported declaration: We graduated.

 

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

 

And with this I would also like to acknowledge the following people that made all of what I’ve achieved possible.

 

To my loving parents and family, I am eternally grateful, for having stood by me since the beginning. To sia, pa, ma, gua eh tsin, for the unconditional love, patience, and the countless sacrifices. You’ve always given me a home where I could always return to no matter how difficult things get and gave me hope when things were uncertain…by constantly asking me when I’ll be finishing my MS degree.

 

To my best bro, shoti Ron, thank you for all the dank memes, cat videos, food and travel treats, all the laughter, and for always keeping me grounded. You’ve always got my back no matter what.

 

To my ever-supportive girlfriend, gua ai eh howe, my Paobae, thank you, for giving me that much needed push to finally finish my degree at a time when I was beginning to feel lost and burnt out. For all the late night talks, the food treats and gifts, the patience and understanding over my busy schedules and all the difficult scientific jargons I rant about, through every mental breakdowns, anxieties, and all the small victories, your loud and ever-loving presence has become my unyielding motivation and inspiration to keep going.

 

I would also like to take a moment to remember my Angkong, my grandfather, who recently passed away and even though he may not be here physically, his wisdom and quiet support continue to guide me and my family through, and I know he would have been very proud to see me standing here today. Rest in peace, Angkong.

 

To my mentor, adviser, and project leader Dr. Windell L. Rivera, I express my profound gratitude for playing a pivotal and inspirational role in shaping me into the committed, disciplined, and principled scholar, I have become today. You saw potential in me when I couldn’t, and gave me countless opportunities, guidance, and support to grow, learn, and challenge myself. If it weren’t for you, this milestone would not have been possible with all these achievements, published papers, and recognition.

 

To the researchers and staff of the Pathogen-Host-Environment Interactions Research Laboratory, Thank you for all the memories we’ve shared in the field, in the laboratory, and in many conferences, for all the cakes, pizza, and pancit, “team-building” and for all the times we’ve strived to be a highly competitive research lab, you’ve all provided me the necessary and invaluable insights, support, and assistance through the years as a researcher.

 

And last but not the least, to the faculties and all the staff of the Institute of Biology, thank you for giving all of us a solid yet intricate (like the building) foundation that strengthens not just our curious minds, but also our sense of purpose. Demonstrating that, like the mitochondria, the IB is the powerhouse of CS.

 

Congratulations to the IB graduates of 2025 and may we publish not just papers, but lives ever full of hope, discovery, and most importantly, undying flames of curiosity. Padayon, mga Iskolar ng Bayan.